How do you get over that fear of actually meeting up with women you meet online?
A reader wrote:
Hey Nico! How do you get over that fear of actually meeting up with women you meet online? I have met many great women online, but feel that meeting face-to-face feels akward and unnatural. You also don’t want to disappoint the other person. Thanks man! Michael
Hi Michael,
You should not have any fear of meeting a woman that you have been talking to as long as you have been honest about who you are and you actually look like your pictures.
There is nothing unnatural or awkward about meeting a woman that is already interested in you. The hard part is over, all you have to do now is just be the same person you were when you were talking to her online.
When you go to meet her you should fell the same way as when you go to see one of your friends that you have known for awhile.
Try this…Site down and close your eye and imagine that she is a old friend that has moved away and that you have been talking to her online and when you go see her you might feel excited but you would never feel nervous or awkward because you already know her, see her greeting you warmly and you both have a great time. Imagine this until you feel it. Then go meet her.
If you act like you have known each other for ever she will also feel that way, if you feel awkward and unnatural she will also feel that too and it will kill all that you have built.
Think of it this way, if she didn’t want to meet you and did not like you she would not be meeting you in person PERIOD.
Also you said “You also don’t want to disappoint the other person.”
This is coming from the wrong state of mind. Why would she be disappointed? That statement reeks of insecurity and low self-confidence which are two of the biggest turn offs to women.
You should NEVER think anything other than this girl is going to love me and have a great time and she is so lucky to meet me.
In fact you should say that as many times a day as you need to until you feel it to be true and then it will be.
I meet girls online and when we meet in person they often greet me with a hug, or we start kissing just a short time after meeting. Why, because I am relaxed, and I expect to be well received and it telegraphs through all of my actions.
Attraction between a man and a woman is one of the most natural things in life, right next to eating and going to the bathroom…lol
Really there would not be billions of people on this planet if that was not the case.
Never worry about it, just feel natural about it and let it happen and get out of your own way.
Nico
July 28th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Dude, you’re on a roll…great advice!
I also wanted to add in something that might help Michael. Goes back to the old Nike commercial…JUST DO IT!
Practice makes BETTER. So Michael, work on setting up as many of the face-to-face meetings as you can. Sure, you’ll feel akward at first and may flub up a few times. But like Jae Ellis likes to say, you cannot NOT learn from it, and eventually you’ll be feeling REAL comfortable.
I had to go through this when I first did the online thing after a lengthy marriage and divorce. I was always–and still am–more comfortable just meeting women when I’m out and about, so the first couple face-to-face get meetups after meeting online were a bit akward. So what. Before long I was feeling real relaxed and comfortable.
Just last night, I met up with a gal at a bar that I had first met the night before online. After greeting her with a hug and kiss on the cheek, and speaking with her for about two minutes, she interrupted me and said, “Why are online? You seem like you can meet girls anywhere…” A little while later we were making out and she later followed me home. And THIS from a gal who had told me during on phone conversation the night before that she was tired of dating jerks who only had one thing on their minds. And we will be getting together Friday nght…
The point is Michael, follow the advice Nico gave and then get out and meet up face-to-face. Over and over again!