I was reading on an other blog of an experience of a guy at a party talking to a girl and the girl said out of the blue “Honestly, I would never be interested in dating a guy like you.”
He said it really hit him hard and was wondering how to get past or what to say to that so I thought I’d share my take on that with my readers.
First off he might have been projecting a neediness or body language that was making her feel that he was hitting on her, I also did not see how he was dressed or how she was dressed. For example if the girl looks like one of the Suicide Girls and he has the prep frat boy look there is a major obstacle right there.
The other thing is while I am all for being natural as you probably know from reading my blog, being natural and engaging and being natural and boring are too different things. And if your naturally boring you need to fix that.
If he was engaging her on an emotional level she would not have said that. She was bored and there was no attraction being created.
So the correct response in a situation like this is…
Don’t take it personally when a woman says something like
“Honestly, I would never be interested in dating a guy like you”
Don’t give it any power over you at all. Because you have no idea what that really means. I have had women that would not date me and then after I found out what kinds of guys she was attracted to I considered a compliment! Seriously!
One later married and total loser that Overdosed on drugs on their first date and she fell in love with him in the hospital and then married him because she said “I knew no one would ever love him as much as me” and to thank her for all of her love he beat the shit out of her a month or so later and then she divorced him.
Now do I feel bad that she would not date me? HELL NO! She’s damaged goods with all kinds of issues!
What to say when a woman says something like that…
(a few off the top of my head)
“Why is that?” find out why it is? Maybe she is testing you?
“Have you ever met someone that you thought was not your type and then realized…that…this person…was much more your type then you had previously thought…and you then…began to become more and more attracted to them?” This would be a NLP/Conversational hypnosis answer where you are leading her on a journey to feeling attraction for someone she was not first attracted to. But really if you do your job right the first time you should not need to do this and you have to be a master at it to pull this off other wise you come of looking totally lame.
“Thanks for being honest. But I think you must have misunderstood, I am not interested in you either, I just like to talk to people as opposed to standing against the wall, besides it makes me look less superficial to be talking to a girl like you.” Neg me and I’ll neg you right back.
“That’s good to know because I am not at all interested in women that are not interested in me, thanks for not letting me waste my time” and walk off cold let go of it and find someone else to talk to. This is one of the best responses you just move on.
“Then you obviously lack both intelligence and depth, have a nice nite.”
Yes this is being an asshole, but in truth I feel this way if a woman is not interested in me she is an idiot (See first example) and I have said that in front of women before. Why? Because I know a lot of men and what they offer and I know my self and what I have to offer she just gave a way a winning lottery ticket stupid girl. I also know that I generally attract women with both intelligence and depth. A tamer version of this is to say “Well there is no accounting for taste, have a nice night.”
“OMG that’s so embarrassing, (learn over and whisper in her ear) you have something hanging out of your nose!” and watch her rush away embarrassed…LOL fucked up huh…lol Immature yes, crude yes, funny yes, she may even pull out a compact and check her nose, and say “No I don’t”, just say “let me see, I guess it fell out! Thank GOD!” you have now just moved from, her not being attracted to you, to you teasing her, and it might even get her in a playful mood where you could build some attraction. This should be used on younger women.
“Once again the universe proves it is friendly and saves me from total disaster!”
Go cosmic on her.
“That’s good to know because I’m not attracted to you either, so tell me about that _____ you were telling me about” Basically showing your disinterest but continuing the conversation.
“That’s good because you’re not really the kind of girl I go for anyway?”
If she asks why point out any flaws she has i.e. I don’t like the way you dress. Not crazy about your hair. I’m not really into girls with tattoos, I like more petite women, I like taller women Etc… Hey I never said I was a nice guy.
Now if you asked for her number or to go somewhere as opposed to it being unsolicited and she said “”Honestly, I would never be interested in dating a guy like you.”
Then you should respect her honesty and appreciate that she did not give you her number and lead you on like a fool or give you a fake number.
And then I would use…
“That’s good to know because unlike most men that are needy and insecure I am not at all interested in women that are not interested in me, thanks for not letting me waste my time”
“Ahh…Once again the universe proves it is friendly and saves me from total disaster!”
But what you should take away from reading this is…
- Avoid this happening by being an emotionally engaging Alpha Male in the first place.
- Don’t take it personally.
- Have fun with it. Play with her, Neg her Back. See how she likes it.
- If she said it in response to you asking her out just respect her for her honesty.
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on Monday, August 18th, 2008 at 4:51 pm and is filed under Ask Nico.
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