Nico’s Online Dating, Pickup & Seduction Blog.

I was reading a woman’s post on face book and decided I’d answer it here.

She said “I think people who are in relationships and who engage in things like cyber sex with a stranger or outright cheating are usually insecure. In my experience a person who cheats usually does it out of fear and insecurity and not out of desire. We are all human, and even the most monogamous couples will find themselves attracted to other people, but only the weak and insecure feel the need to engage.”

From a woman’s point of view maybe it is why they cheat…

But in my opinion and from talking to many, many other men it has nothing to do with insecurity at least on the man’s side of things.

It has to do with the FACT that our DNA is programmed for us to seek out sexual partners. Every straight man has it. (I’m not gay so I have no point of reference, I wonder also since gay men don’t have sex for procreation if that has an effect?)

This desire for “New Pussy” or a “New Partner” to be a bit more PC can diminish if you are with a woman that is 99%-100% what you want but the truth is most people settle especially most men that did not have many options in the first place. But even then after a time the sex often get’s old and you lose your desire EVEN when you still love the women 100% with all of your heart and would do anything for her.

What women don’t understand is that men often cheat not to destroy a relationship but to save it and them selves becuase they feel like they are dying inside. Because their sex drive dies from monogamy, then they lose interest in having sex with their partner then she feel neglected (and maybe this is where the insecurity comes in that she was speaking of) and she goes out and cheats becuase someone else gave her the attention she needed and she blames the guy saying he didn’t keep up his end of the deal.

You see it all of the time 40% of marriages are sexless and over 60% of marriages end in divorce.  It gets to the point where you think I have to either end this or cheat. Some cheat some end it. Then after they end it they want it back. Why becuase their primal need encoded in their DNA been filled.

Because what they really needed was the release like letting off a steam pressure valve.

The part women don’t understand is that often if the man is still attracted to his wife/GF the being with another woman energizes him sexually and re-awakens his sex drive for his partner once again.

Women in other parts of the world understand this and deal with it. Women in the U.S. want ownership of the man, and to neuter him like a cat. Of course then he is no longer the same man they were attracted to, he just sit around get’s lazy and is shadow of his former self.

You also look at LTR couples. The 100% faithful men after years are usually fat lazy and miserable and their wives hold them in low regard. Then look at the men that are suspect of cheating they usually are in good shape and have wives that adore them and try to keep their attention.

What are the first signs that a man is cheating? New clothes, going to the gym more often, taking better care of himself. Interesting sounds like a new zest for life hmmm.

Women can argue all they want but history proves my point and so do the statistics and since they are not in a man’s body that have no point of reference. There are very few monogamous animals namely Doves and Wolves.
(http://news.softpedia.com/news/Monogamy-is-an-Oddity-42006.shtml)

BTW attractive women often cheat more then men anyway as it’s so much easier for them and they are much better liars. At least that women have told me.

No point complaining about it ladies. We as men have to deal with you all being status seeking whores and do not mean that in a derogatory manner. It’s just another fact, but to put it nicer women are all sexually attracted to and willing to put out for highest status males, regardless of their current relationship status. (In all fairness that is very broad generalization and while it tends to be accurate there is a small percentage of women that don’t fit that description that are actually an aberration to the normal female pattern that last woman I dated was one of those women, she actually resisted very high status men out of fear of being dependent on them, but she is not typical in way shape or from.)

We have the mass procreation gene and you have the partner trade up gene. So all we can do is just deal with it and stop stressing about it and appreciate each other for the thing we like.

And and this is from a man that has never cheated, but has also not been in fully committed relationship in 9 years. I let my partners know where that stand from the start. But was recently told by a woman I should just shut up and so what I want like everyone else so I guess being honest is not appreciated.

I’m willing to try the monogamy thing with the right woman again someday, if we can be both totally open and honest and express how we really feel instead of just telling each other what we want to hear.  But it seems to me most women don’t want the truth they only want to hear what they want to hear even if it is a lie.  Sorry ladies you can’t have it both ways, you either want honesty and communication or you want to hear the fairy tale.

Anyway just my take on things. Oh yeah to me the real insecurity is when you feel like you need to control or own your partner becuase some how that will a make you happy.