Archive for March, 2010

What a woman told me about being commited and monogamy

Friday, March 5th, 2010

I went out with very insightful woman last week. Who said she had different views on relationships and monogamy than her girlfriends. I asked her to explain.

She said “Men should not be forced to be Monogamous” In shock and awe of this brilliant woman I asked “Why?” she said “it’s not natural for them” and  “you can be his friend and have the truth and a great relationship or try to control him and be lied to.”

She also understood that to men having a fling keeps his sex drive alive where monogamy generally kills it so the woman in the relationship also suffers.

I asked her if that meant that she should also not be monogamous she replied “No, when I’m in a relationship I don’t want anyone else.” And  “If most women thought like this there would be almost no divorces.” I agreed!

The stats support what she’s saying. Sure some monogamous men are happy. But most if you talked to are actually tolerant rather than happy, becuase they believe and have been brainwashed to believe they have no other option or choice.

And it’s not proven that committed men live longer. Men in relationships live longer, that does not mean they have never had sex with anyone else. I’m not at all against relationships. I have been in several both monogamous and open and both were wonderful times in my life.

For MOST men the dating world sucks, they risk the rejection, spend the money ( I don’t spend money on a woman until I know she’s into me, then I’m very generous), most of the really attractive women out there are low quality in all of the other areas so approach with caution! (ask any experienced man and he’ll tell you the same.)

Many of those married men that look so happy, are not monogamous they don’t wear signs saying “I cheat.” And neither do women.

Some men do find women they are 100% into and are 90% compatible with and it’s so good that it’s easier to fight the desire to be with another women.

But for most it’s not the case. 66% of marriages end in divorce. And I don’t think I have ever met a married man that didn’t tell me “Don’t get married!”

And no I’m not the last word and her view is certainly not the norm for a woman. The last word lies with each individual. I’m just a person looks at the reality of the situation as a whole and every man I have ever had a serious talk about this with says the same thing “I want my wife but I’d like to have sex with another woman once in a while” It’s like a pressure that builds up and needs to be released. You either release it or have an explosion.

The one’s getting some on the side are MUCH happier than the ones that don’t for the most part, unless they have guilt issues.

Anyway I don’t agree that most women will agree with this. Only maybe those that do therapy with men, or prostitutes as both see the sides of men they hide from the women in their life. Or maybe women like my friend that some how has also come to the same conclusion through what ever means of observation of the reality of the situation.

The few women I have met that share this view or were raised to and they are much happier and less stressed out and my friend above that told me her view is one such woman.

What really needs to happen is Men as whole and to just come out and say “ENOUGH! this is how we are deal with it!” and end the lies and pretense. Because you can never be true to someone else if you are not true to yourself.

Most men want a relationship but we are wired to want to have sex with other women by nature. Nature will ALWAYS prevail over social conditioning, social contracts,etc… Look around at all of the evidence. Disagree all you like but the fact and static and behavior of people speak the reality of the situation.

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