Nico’s Online Dating, Pickup & Seduction Blog.

If you have ever been stuck in the friend zone you know how frustrating, depressing and agonizing it can be! And then you watch as the woman your are so into sometimes even in love with goes off and hooks up with some jerk or asshole. While you’re moaning from heartbreak she’s moaning in pleasure while he defiles her 8 different ways!

Then when he dumps her she often comes back to tell you the story and cry on your shoulder! And just when you think she is going to wake and she you for her dream guy he calls her back now that he got a new bottle of Viagra all you get is the F—ing check at the end of dinner and a distant hug! And the torment goes on!

What you don’t know is that the very fact that she is friends with you and is willing to hang out with you generally means that at some point when she first met you she had already said to herself in her mind “I’d have sex with him.” And then YOU SCREWED IT ALL UP! And then you were then put into the friends zone!

Don’t feel bad I have done it myself many times before I discovered through trial and error, and lot of going over tons of interactions with with a fine tooth comb looking for clues and traces of where I went wrong and where I went right.

The Good News is that you don’t have to suffer in the friend zone anymore or learn through trial and error like I did. Because I have not only put all of my secrets into my “No More Friend Zone” Issue but I have also included over two hours of candid uncensored interviews with attractive women where they reveal how men screw up turn them off and literally force them to put guys into the friend zone!

But it’s only available until the end of this month as part of my Monthly Multimedia Newsletter here… Click Here to find out more about “No More Friend Zone!”

Click Here to find out more about “No More Friend Zone!”

Ok the title of this post it loaded and was meant to get you’re attention.

I was responding to another Facebook post…Where a stripper was complaining about some guy she was dating that cheated on her and a guy stated most strippers are messed up in the head and cheat more and he got attacked so I had to chime in and say a few words…Here is my take on the subject.

“Women often lie and cheat as much as men and it’s much easier for them becuase any attractive women can find a man to cheat with pretty much all day long no matter where they go. They are just better at hiding it.

As far as strippers I have dated a few some cheat and some don’t and the majority are messed up in the head from my personal experience but quite honestly most beautiful women (stripper or not) in general are messed up in the head, rely only their looks, and are unreliable, flaky, lie as much or more than men,  are too demanding, can’t cook and think the world owes them something.

One reason why this happens is because most men these days kiss their asses have no balls or self-respect and put up with it and let them walk all over them and the women continue to do it. If men stood their ground these kinds of women would shape up or be alone.

This  opinion comes from my experience of dating strippers, models and other very attractive women and talking to my friends that have also done the same or even run strip clubs. And also many strippers have been raped or molested at one time in their life and stripping is their way of taking back their sexual power. (I’m not saying that is the case with all of them but it seems to be a trend.)

On the up side Strippers are fun, often generous (the good ones), and hot to look at, outgoing and fun to hang out with, and most but not all are generally more sexual and many have good hearts. I have no issue with the job or the industry itself nor do I look down upon it or them and I judge each person individually, but you must also take in account any stereotype becuase stereotypes are formed only when there is a very large percentage of of the group in question that fits the stereotype in the first place.

When a guy is with a girl who is unreliable, flaky, lies  or just a difficult pain in the ass or too demanding he’s not going to take her seriously (if he’s got a brain in his head) becuase he knows she’s only good for one thing (if shes even good at that) and when her looks fade you have an ugly, unreliable, demanding pain in he ass, wow what a deal…lol

So ladies if you’re flaky, a pain in the ass, too demanding, showing him little respect, the guy is going to start seeing someone else and really to you blame him?

I’m not saying it’s ok to cheat for either party. I personally just tell them I’m seeing other people, you can stay and have fun and see where it leads or go.

I dated a 10 that was a stripper many years ago and she told me when we broke up “Nico, don’t date strippers, you can’t trust them.” and that was coming from a stripper.

I did not listen as I just stopped dating another stripper that was reliable, did not do drugs or drink did not live the stripper lifestyle (about 10% if that much are like this) and was my best friend, but that’s no longer because she has daddy issues that caused resentment toward men and I got tired of verbal attacks becuase of her issues.

Everyone is an individual but certain industries do attract certain kinds of people and personalities. Strippers and Girls in Porn act differently that a Woman that’s a lawyer, actresses also have their own peculiarities. And this goes for men as well.

Male Strippers also cheat more most of the time…Because they get it offered to them where as the average man does not. This is based on my friends in that are male exotic dancers and my own experience as one many years ago for a short period (it  wasn’t for me as I like to use my brain.)

If you want to attack me, delete me, etc for what  I have said so be it…lol

I think i’ll post this on my blog so thanks for the inspiration!”

So in closing All strippers are NOT crazy, cheating, lying, whores…But you can bet there is a fair share of them out there that are crazy, will cheat, and some will have sex for money. So don’t be blinded by their beauty look for their beauty in their actions to show you who they really are!

BTW I know of girls that used to work at retail stores in Beverly Hills during the day and are off banging foreign business men for $2000 a night while they boyfriends were out playing poker with their buddies on Wednesday night.  So it’s not just strippers.

The Christmas season is often a very stressful and sometimes depressing time of  the year for single people both men and women. This is especially true for those without family or that live across the country from them. Which is one reason suicide rates often climb during the holiday season.

In times like this people often add undue stress to their lives be labeling themselves a “Loser” or making statements like “My life sucks”, “I’m always alone”, “No one loves me”, “I have no one to give to or to love” and/or other such negative pity party statements.

This self-defeating behavior will not only perpetuate the situation by creating beliefs that keep you in a limited un-resourceful state of being. But also take you spiraling down father into the pit of despair and negativity.

You need to step back at times like these and realize that no event has any significance other than what we give it ourselves. Look around the world Buddists, Muslims and others that do not Celebrate the Chirstmas holidays are not in a state of depression or feeling unloved because they place no significance on it.

This does not mean that you should not celebrate it, but only that you should stop giving how you celebrate it significance and power over your emotional state. And if possible you can celebrate it even more fully than before just be being in the moment and enjoying what every comes along.

I love Christmas Holidays and it’s always been one of  my favorite times of the year since I was young boy. I love the decorations, the tree, the food, the music, the Christmas movies,and sharing it with someone. It’s one of the times I feel like a kid again.

But this year I got out of a relationship and have been so focused on work and was unable to go see my family. So I ended up alone on Christmas, with no tree, no decorations. Which is not my first choice but I’m not going to let it get me down and those of you that are out there reading this right now should not let it get you down either if you are in a similar situation.

So I want to give you some suggestions on how to beat “The Holiday Blues.”

1. Give to others less fortunate than you. If you are in stable financial position go out and give to the homeless, donate , make someone else ’s Chirstmas brighter and I promise you yours will be too.
2. Along the same lines above, you could play santa and dress up or just get the hat and go buy some toys and take it to orphanage, or a community center. Or you could also get some gift cards and walk up to random people you feel drawn to and give  them a card with a gift card in it and say “Have a Marry Christmas, See there is a Santa Claus!”Single mothers are also a good choice as they often have a hard time making ends meet this time of year and giving gifts to their children.
3. Give to yourself. There is no one more important than you in your life and if you don’t have anyone to give to or anyone that will be giving to you I suggest that you give yourself a gift. Buy something you would really like and make it special by getting something that you would not normally buy for yourself. Treat yourself you deserve it.
4. If you can’t afford financially to give to others or give to yourself. Then give to yourself by doing something you love to do or by learning a new skill or getting back involved in one you have not done in awhile. For me it’s The Guitar. I have had guitars since I was 8 but I really never put in the time to get good at which is really lame since I have 5 of them…lol So I decided that the gift I was going to give myself this year was to get good at the guitar and start playing every day and I have been. My fingers are callousing up nicely, my hands are getting used to the chord changes and I’m learning one of my favorite songs. I’ve been playing all night! and I could  not be Happier, I also bought myself a couple of small gifts.
5. Do what very it takes to keep a positive mental state, if you can still get in the Christmas spirit and give to others & yourself, decorate, watch movies,  eat cookies, drink egg nog etc… Go for it. If that depresses you in any way. Then you can skip Christmas and just do something else you love to.
6. If you have no one to give to at all and you don’t want to give to others think to yourself “look at all of the money I can spend on myself
   and go get yourself something.” It’s ok to be completely selfish and love yourself first. It’s wonderful to give to others but it’s also wonderful to give to yourself and have present to open Christmas Morning. I suggest you even have it wrapped. I buy myself presents every year even if I’m not alone. Because no one else has been there for me through the hard times like I have, no one else had done for me what I have done for myself and I want to thank and honor myself. Because in life the only person you can always count on is yourself. So give yourself some credit and some love and a nice present.
7. Get a pet. Go rescue a Dog or Cat from the Animal shelter and make their life better and give them some love. Pets are wonderful But please make sure that you want to the responsibility for the rest of their lives or that you can find them a good home as they are not holiday toys but are little beings that deserve love and respect just like you do. And if you get a cat dress it up in funny out fits (Because cats love that…lol…Not so much) and put videos of it on You Tube…you could have the next Famous Cat!

Above all be grateful for all you have, your arms, legs, health, that you have shelter and a bed to sleep in , your car…Everything you can think of. Having another person in your life is nothing compared to all that you already have.

The Spirit of Christmas is the Spirit of Love and Giving so give some love to yourself and others and you will fell much better.

I hope you have a Very Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New year!

I just got back from a birthday party at a bar that I was invited to by a new Facebook friend that I made from interacting with an old friend (He and I met through out ex-girlfriends before they were our ex’s) We lost touch and recently reconnected Via Facebook. After commenting on his posts other women started adding me and here I am making new friends and being invited to birthday parties.

Now at the birthday party I did some Social Networking old school style in person face to face and that was invited to a Black Tie New Years party. After that I decided to just chill and two women one after another approached me at the bar. One gave me her card after the conversation ended, the other I left to go to the restroom and did not make contact again with because I was busy networking with the people I was sitting with.

So what is the point of all of this. I want to to see how this all fits together how one event can link to another and open entire new worlds of possibility.

I have been working really hard and basically stopped dating, socializing and just focused on work for the past 3 months. I mean 18 hour days, I also lost friends over this and choose to end some friendships as well that were not being reciprocal and felt one sided to me. I’m not much for having dead weight in my life.

So I knew I need to get out and socialize make new connections and start dating again now that my products are finished and about to launch.

So I put my intention out there, and then took action, followed up and said “Yes” to the opportunity presented to me (if you have not seen the movie “YES MAN” with Jim Carrey you should rent it and watch it.) I said yes to one invitation, which equaled several new contacts/friends, an invite to another party for New Years, a phone number from a woman that initiated contact with me and who knows how many more connections I’ll make from this one event that all came from an invite I got on Facebook. Another time I met smoking hot girl that I dated for awhile that I met out at a club from another birthday party I was invited to on Myspace.

Tonight I also said “Have a nice life to two girls” I previously met on Myspace, because when there is a disconnect there is no reason to hold on to something that’s not working out or is too difficult or in the case of one of them she was playing games. The other I screwed up but learned a valuable lesson in the process.

SIDE NOTE: Yes that’s right I said I screwed up. I’m not perfect and I still make mistakes and anyone that claims they are is a lair or trying to con you in some way. In this case my ego got in the way and I was putting obstacles in my own path…But I learned and plan I doing a issue in my new Special Subjects Multimedia Newsletter on “Cock Blocking Yourself /Self-Sabotage” so others can learn from my mistake and what I learned.

So I just said bye to one and deleted both them from my phone. Something a lot of men do is they keep trying to make it work even when the signs are clear you should just move on. Don’t live in scarcity live in a state of abundance knowing that you are always attracting more and better into your life.

I learned a lesson and then I let go of it and moved on and look women started approaching me and I got invited to another place where there are even more possibilities. It’s a chain-reaction from one action that multiplies your possibilities.

So get out there and take action, make new friends both male and female online and offline. I will tell you my male friends have hooked me up 100 times more than any of my female friends so make male friends and don’t cock block or go after their girls that comes from a scarcity mentality. When you live in abundance you know there is enough for every one.

Well that’s all for now!

This below is a response to this article: http://hplusmagazine.com/articles/robotics/sexbots-will-give-us-longevity-orgasm

Yes this is the future…and then we will all be put of jobs (seduction & dating coaches), well not me as I also do other things (Any one want to buy VirtualLovePartner.com or VirtualLoveRobot.com, yes I’m a domainer also)

But there will be no need for the pickup industry. And as one of the people that commented on the article at the link above said many men will opt for this over dealing with the B.S. women put them through (that’s my own paraphrase, a bit harsher and to the point, but that’s the gist of it.)

Women will fight this because they will lose mush of their power. The battle of the sexes will be over and we will have won or maybe we just won’t give a damn and thanks to the Nerd and Geeks with the huge IQ’s that women have shunned for years not knowing that those very actions would be their very own undoing.

It will be a time of true equality…where both sexes will have to work just as hard, and one can no longer live off the other in a parasitic fashion as is the case in many situations. It will be the end of the Golddigger, The Tease and the “I want a ring as big as you last 3 months paycheck!” women.

Why when a man can buy a 3 bots for the same price as the ring who will never age, never have saggy breasts, love anal and I am sure will be built to interface with other bots for the 2 and 3 girl action, never say no,  feel better than a real women ever could and play all of your mp3 in Surround sound while your banger her, uh it I mean! You know at some point they will bring you beer and make you a sandwich toom if they also do dishes and laundry count me in!

It will be the end of the pickup industry as men that are naturals will still get women easily and men that are not will often opt for the bots. Why take $2997 boot camp when you can buy a bot. Men will start having trophy bots instead of trophy wives and just like men like to work on and collect cars and other men like to trick out their PC and MOD it so will be true of your Sex Bots. There might even be bot porn! In fact I’m sure of it if there Anime Hentai there will be bot porn. With link on the screen that says you can buy this bot for only $2997 click her to buy now! You’ll be able to get you very own copy of your favorite porn star or a bot with the dimensions of life size Barbie doll.

I can just hear it now “Dude I just installed a new that high pressure, spinning, oscillating vagina in C.H.E.R.R.Y. it’s fucking amazing! I can’t believe the shit my dad had to go through to get some pussy!”

It will also curb unwanted pregnancy, STD’s will virtually disappear, keep the world from being over populated, and help the Gene pool through more selective breeding.

Now women will attack this viciously because it’s a threat to their way of life and power.  They will not longer be able to rely on their natural built in self-preservation system P.U.S.S.Y. (Protection Under Serious Situations Year-Round) for the aquasition of money and lifestyle alone.

I can just here it now “No REAL man would have sex with a bot”.  Just like no real man would ever let a women pay for her dinner or a drink…etc…etc…etc…Pull my other leg it play jingle bells.

So are all of those women with vibrators and dildos not REAL women?

Some women will buy bots also but the demand just will not be there so the technology will lag because…

1) Attractive women can get sex any time they want unlike most men.

2) The Myth in the seduction community that women are more sexual than men or want it as much is just that a myth. Men buy most of the porn, men go to sex workers and men spend money perusing women. And men have more sexual thoughts on a more frequent basis than women.

 3) Women seek sex partners for emotional reasons more than sexual pleasure and also for financial support. And a bots not going to pay their bills.

 Thus there will be a renewed interest in cooking, charm school and all other areas that women will have left to attract a man. They might even start becoming the persurers in the dating world. Becuase they’ll need us alot more than we will need them.

Welcome to the  new Era of TRUE EQUALITY that is upon us.

My only concern is… Attractive women are often attracted to Alpha Douchbags with the I.Q. of an Apple think “Jersey Shore” and with the Geniuses all boinking their bots… we may breed into a race of beautiful morons that are really good foro nothing. Very similar to parts of the population in some of the cities I have lived in.

But in the mean time we still have to meet REAL women and be Alpha Males, and some men will still find that one women in 100 or 1000 who is what they are looking for so when that happens…You will see a lot of bots on ebay…lol

As for men I think I’ll still prefer the real thing but I do see this as a viable option for alot of men at least until they find a good woman.

I was reading a woman’s post on face book and decided I’d answer it here.

She said “I think people who are in relationships and who engage in things like cyber sex with a stranger or outright cheating are usually insecure. In my experience a person who cheats usually does it out of fear and insecurity and not out of desire. We are all human, and even the most monogamous couples will find themselves attracted to other people, but only the weak and insecure feel the need to engage.”

From a woman’s point of view maybe it is why they cheat…

But in my opinion and from talking to many, many other men it has nothing to do with insecurity at least on the man’s side of things.

It has to do with the FACT that our DNA is programmed for us to seek out sexual partners. Every straight man has it. (I’m not gay so I have no point of reference, I wonder also since gay men don’t have sex for procreation if that has an effect?)

This desire for “New Pussy” or a “New Partner” to be a bit more PC can diminish if you are with a woman that is 99%-100% what you want but the truth is most people settle especially most men that did not have many options in the first place. But even then after a time the sex often get’s old and you lose your desire EVEN when you still love the women 100% with all of your heart and would do anything for her.

What women don’t understand is that men often cheat not to destroy a relationship but to save it and them selves becuase they feel like they are dying inside. Because their sex drive dies from monogamy, then they lose interest in having sex with their partner then she feel neglected (and maybe this is where the insecurity comes in that she was speaking of) and she goes out and cheats becuase someone else gave her the attention she needed and she blames the guy saying he didn’t keep up his end of the deal.

You see it all of the time 40% of marriages are sexless and over 60% of marriages end in divorce.  It gets to the point where you think I have to either end this or cheat. Some cheat some end it. Then after they end it they want it back. Why becuase their primal need encoded in their DNA been filled.

Because what they really needed was the release like letting off a steam pressure valve.

The part women don’t understand is that often if the man is still attracted to his wife/GF the being with another woman energizes him sexually and re-awakens his sex drive for his partner once again.

Women in other parts of the world understand this and deal with it. Women in the U.S. want ownership of the man, and to neuter him like a cat. Of course then he is no longer the same man they were attracted to, he just sit around get’s lazy and is shadow of his former self.

You also look at LTR couples. The 100% faithful men after years are usually fat lazy and miserable and their wives hold them in low regard. Then look at the men that are suspect of cheating they usually are in good shape and have wives that adore them and try to keep their attention.

What are the first signs that a man is cheating? New clothes, going to the gym more often, taking better care of himself. Interesting sounds like a new zest for life hmmm.

Women can argue all they want but history proves my point and so do the statistics and since they are not in a man’s body that have no point of reference. There are very few monogamous animals namely Doves and Wolves.
(http://news.softpedia.com/news/Monogamy-is-an-Oddity-42006.shtml)

BTW attractive women often cheat more then men anyway as it’s so much easier for them and they are much better liars. At least that women have told me.

No point complaining about it ladies. We as men have to deal with you all being status seeking whores and do not mean that in a derogatory manner. It’s just another fact, but to put it nicer women are all sexually attracted to and willing to put out for highest status males, regardless of their current relationship status. (In all fairness that is very broad generalization and while it tends to be accurate there is a small percentage of women that don’t fit that description that are actually an aberration to the normal female pattern that last woman I dated was one of those women, she actually resisted very high status men out of fear of being dependent on them, but she is not typical in way shape or from.)

We have the mass procreation gene and you have the partner trade up gene. So all we can do is just deal with it and stop stressing about it and appreciate each other for the thing we like.

And and this is from a man that has never cheated, but has also not been in fully committed relationship in 9 years. I let my partners know where that stand from the start. But was recently told by a woman I should just shut up and so what I want like everyone else so I guess being honest is not appreciated.

I’m willing to try the monogamy thing with the right woman again someday, if we can be both totally open and honest and express how we really feel instead of just telling each other what we want to hear.  But it seems to me most women don’t want the truth they only want to hear what they want to hear even if it is a lie.  Sorry ladies you can’t have it both ways, you either want honesty and communication or you want to hear the fairy tale.

Anyway just my take on things. Oh yeah to me the real insecurity is when you feel like you need to control or own your partner becuase some how that will a make you happy.

WARNING: There maybe spelling or grammatical errors on this page if you are offended by such abuses of the English language…Don’t Read It! (Kiss My Ass Instead!)

I just received an email from some guy telling me that I need to go to school before I call myself a writer. I am the first to admit that I am not that great at spelling or grammar, but rather than to let that hold me back in life I chose not to.  Because I see the bigger picture. If you really think that stuff matters and that it determines how far you will go in life. Just look at our last president…lol He could barely speak in front of an audience! (But he still was better at public speaking than most of the people that criticize him, public speaking is one of the biggest fears of most people)

So I had a few choices on how to deal with this email I received:

1. I could just delete it becuase really who cares. I only care about the content and that my customers are happy and since I have not released my product yet for this site, he is bitching & whining about stuff that I am giving away for free. Some people might say “he’s an ungrateful prick” and that you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. (That expression comes from the fact that when you buy a horse you should always check their mouth and teeth and dental health, but if someone is giving you a horse it’s rude)
2. I could have used a sarcastic retort approach and emailed back something like…”You are obviously an anal retentive moron, that’s not getting laid enough (and this kind of behavior is why. Becuase no woman wants some whiny nitpicker around her, picking her apart), I still get laid more and make more money than you with my bad grammar & spelling and always will” But really that ’s not helping anyone.
3. I could have written an email back to him attempting to point out his short sided, narrow minded, superficial perception stemming from the beliefs “That good grammar is a mark of intelligence” and that “You must have perfect grammar and spelling to be a writer” Neither of which I subscribe to.
4. I chose option number 4 to take the letter I did write him and share it with the world so that all that read it can learn from both my mistakes of not using perfect grammar & spelling (Yes I would serve myself and my readers better to improve my grammar I completely admit that) and his mistake of not valuing content over syntax. So here is my reply below.

“I was going to just delete this email but what would you learn from that?

I’m a writer only as far as it’s a means to convey what I have to say. Writers write. Many writers don’t even do that becuase they have writers block. And if you have ever studied writing, self-editing in your head is one of the causes of writers block. I can always hire an analytical (anal retentive) person like yourself to clean up my work.

And most writers have editors, and proof readers that clean up their work. I know I bought an ebook from a man who’s books sold $30,000,000 it was filled with errors becuase he did not take the time to have it edited. I expected more from him as he is a professional writer published by very large publishing houses but what I learned was it was the publishing house that cleans up his work, not him, and it made him no less a writer.

Publishing houses are filled with editor and proof readers making a fraction per year of the big authors who’s work they are cleaning up and correcting. Some of the biggest authors around dictate these days and let others put it together.

My last books sold over 15,000 copies and made me hundreds of thousands of dollars (because I self-publish) and are filled with errors. The important part though is that while I got a hand full of people like yourself complaining, I have thousands of satisfied customers & testimonials of changed lives.

But according to you I should fold up shop becuase I grammar and spelling is not up to your expectations. I think value the opinion of my happy customers and the readers that thank me for what I do. Thank you.

However because I respect my customers I do the best to clean them up now without changing my conversational writing style. So I do have my new books lightly edited and proofread as I strive to continually improve my products and deliver the best products I can. My emails I do not have edited by someone else. I probably should.

I really don’t want customers like you that complain and whine about little things and really just don’t get the big picture. Clearly if you take the time to email me and attack me Instead of seeing value in the information I am giving for FREE! (I doubt you even watched the money video, that I have gotten so much positive feed back on)

You remind me of those people that write bad reviews about a video that is filled with great content, but the lighting was not all that great, and the titles were not flashy.

You have some issues you need to address. You are of the You tube/forum  mentallity of “let’s rip on everyone and point out all flaws we possibly can.” So we can feel better about out own lives. If you want to address someones flaws address your own, you can’t change me but maybe you can improve yourself, or learn from  my mistakes.

I prefer audio and video. At the end of the day all that matters to me is the results the information brings the people and that my customers are happy and since you are not a customer your opinion does not matter.

For every one person like you I get 10 thanking me for my efforts and information and how it has changed their lives. The fact that I can do what I have done and not have perfect grammar only inspires people that they can become successful, they can achieve their dreams with out a college degree, without being perfect, without the approval of people like yourself. I know many a miserable person with an advanced degree and a ton of successful people that are happy that were high school or college dropouts. Education is important, but it’s not what makes you great, successful or gets you laid.

A few dropouts. Tony Robbins, Frank Kern, Bill Gates (Dropped out of Harvard), Mike Dell, and the list goes on and on!

Einstein was notriously bad a math and often had other people do his math for him. He imgaination and knowledge was great.

Steven Hawkings another one of the greatest minds of our time, is disabled, he writes one letter at a time, he has others edit and proofread no doubt. Does that make him less of an author or a great man.

NEVER judge a person only on syntax but rather on content and NEVER let some jackass critic tell you are not good enough to do something! If the critics could do better they would be doing it not criticizing others for doing it.

I have removed you from my email list and blocked you from re-subscribing.

PS: I hope your little attack made you feel better about yourself, your life and your ability to use perfect grammar. BTW since this is a dating newsletter I should mention that, perfect grammar is often a detriment to getting laid. We are in a time that people speak with abbreviation and acronym and slang. Such as …WTF, LOL, BRB, etc…” I have never heard a woman say “Wow he can spell and has prefect grammar I want to have sex with him!”

Now I do want to say to all of the readers of this blog…

1. That while I often forget to proof read my email. You should always proofread you emails before you send them to a woman you are trying to meet online. You don’t want her to think you are ignorant or lazy, just as this reader judged me.
2. Match her style of writing. If she uses perfect grammar, use it when you write to her. If she uses casual writing or net speak or slang use it also. That will help to establish rapport!

I know this is off topic but I just have to say something in light of all recent celebrity drug deaths. Anna Nicole Smith (not so recent), Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays and Today DJ AM.

I made a choice very early in life to avoid drugs because as I see it drug use leads to one of four places and none of them are anywhere I want to be…

1. Broke and Homeless
2. Jail
3. Rehab
4. Dead

Anthony Robbins one of the best motivational strategists alive says people do drugs because they associate more pleasure than pain to them. I totally agree because look at the 4 associations I have to drugs above.

I live in Vegas a city where people come to party and often die from over doses while visiting. And every few months or so a popular local in the strip scene dies of an over does. Why does this happen?

It happens because people are trying to change their state of mind, you can call it an escape if you want but what really is going on is that they are not happy and they are looking to change their state of mind.

There is nothing wrong with changing your state of mind. The problem is when you have to look outside of yourself to do that you become dependent on whatever it is you are using to change your state of mind. This leads to an addiction to whatever it is that you are using to change your state of mind, be it food, sex, a person, and object, or a dangerous substance.

In the case of food this can cause a person to gain weight, to a person it can cause co-dependence and obsession and this is how stalkers are made. When it’s an object it often takes the form of object referral meaning that your self-worth and positive feelings come from the object. Sometimes it even becomes your identity. i.e. I’m the guy with the Corvette, Big House, Lots of Money, Hot Girlfriend (the second way it can be a person is partner referral, you get your validation or identity from your mate, also unhealthy)

With drugs it’s even worse because the drug is destroying your health, and even has the potential to end your life right then and there in many cases. In the case of E or Ecstasy it actually reduces and affects your natural ability to be happy when not on the drug.

In all of the cases above really the same problem exist you are looking out side of yourself for your happiness. What most people don’t realize is that we have the power to choose our states of mind. Happiness is a choice. Now at first this can be difficult because just like drugs you can actually get addicted to negative emotions and you have to break that addiction.

I myself have had a problem with negativity (some might even call it depression) most of my life. And it has held me back from success in many areas of my life or maybe I should say slowed my path to success.

But after many years I have learned how to control my emotions, thoughts and thinking processes. And I can now choose to be happy and choose to be in a powerful state of mind almost totally autonomously. I still look outside of myself once in awhile but when I do I choose things that are going to be good for me or at the very worst lesser evils.

I’d like to share with you now what I have learned over the course of my life that has helped me to be a much more positive, happy and healthy person.

1. Sleep. I personally get very negative if I do not get enough sleep. It effects my thinking all day long. Try to get 8 hours or what ever you need to feel mentally fresh. When I can’t I take a nap later to mentally and physically refresh myself.

2. Food. I must eat every few hours to keep my energy level high and blood sugar regulated. Your brain function is greatly affected by your blood sugar level. Also avoid simple sugars that lift you and the crash you. Fresh live whole foods are the best for this. I now start my day very often with a vegetable smoothie filled with natural live enzymes. You also must get enough protein or it will affect your moods.

3. Water. You must stay hydrated as you are 70% water and your brain is closer to 85%. Often depression, lack of energy and headaches are a sign of dehydration. Drink half of your body weight in ounces every day of fresh clean water. That means a 180lbs man would need to drink 90 ounces of water. Structured and alkaline waters are the best and you can really feel the difference.

4. Deep diaphragmic breathing for ten minutes will do amazing things for your mental state. You will actually get buzzed and feel high (well I’ve never actually been high on drugs, but I’m guessing that’s what it feels like). What you are doing is oxygenating you body. And every function in your body is dependent on oxygen.

5. Meditation/Self-hypnosis. Going into Alpha or Theta brainwave state, has a very powerful centering and grounding effect and leave you very clear minded. I try to do this at least once a day.

6. Exercise releases endorphins which are a natural high. You also look better naked…lol I do this 1-5 times a week. Depending on what I’m trying to accomplish.

7. Raw Cacao. This is the raw and natural state of chocolate and has a ton of anti-oxidants and is a natural anti-depressant. I used to reach for Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food when I could not shake a negative mood. Now I make healthy low-glycemic treats that use Raw Cacao and other natural ingredients. But I still say Ben & Jerry’s is better than a line of Cocaine or some E but I think it’s just as addictive! ;o)

8. Now in addition to that… Focus your attention on what you want in your life and things that make you feel good and that you are passionate about.  NOT on negative depressing things. I often watch certain movies just to change my mental state to empower me. I NEVER WATCH THE NEWS! (ok when Michael Jackson died I did for a couple of hours but that only two hours in the last 5 years) I refuse to fill my head with that crap they are shoveling out. Instead I choose to watch shows, DVD’s and movies that empower me. I watch movies that show people succeeding, that are funny, that show people overcoming obstacles, and achieving their dreams. I have watched “The Secret” over 100 times easy! I watch the science channel so I can learn and when the damn drug commercials come on I mute it or change the channel I have no need to be programmed with “A need for a drug” as they describe the symptoms to you it’s actually a form of hypnosis.

9. I listen to positive music I won’t listen to depressing music, or negative lyrics (As mush as I love AC/DC and actually love the music to “Highway To Hell” I won’t listen to it if I have a choice… Hell is not a destination I choose to visit, whether fictional or circumstantial Hell.)  Often people do that and sing them over and over again and feel depressed while doing so. Have you ever heard of “Affirmations” well when you do that your doing negative “Affirmations”. Then people want to know why the teen suicide rate is so high when they sit around listening to broken hearted emo songs. Country music listeners used to have the highest suicide rate many years ago. Well look back at all of the negative country music lyrics in the past. You don’t think it has an effect but it does over time. And I’m not talking about subliminal messages or anything like that. Your mind tends to move in the direction that you send it. If you start thinking depressing thoughts you’ll think more of them and soon you are depressed. If you think about making a million dollars you start thinking of more ways to do it and pretty soon you are seeing opportunities.

10. Spend some time everyday being grateful and thankful for everything you have in your life that you enjoy. It’s very hard to be depressed when you are grateful or in a state of gratitude. Look at these celebrities that all over dosed they had achieved their dreams. Yet were miserable. Because they got caught up in the everyday bullshit. I’ll tell you what. Take them out of their lifestyle and make them take the bus to work at wal-mart or a video store for a month and they would come back with a new appreciation for their life. Also you must set new goals, look for new adventures once you make it! You don’t say “now what?” You say “Now I’m going to do this!” or “My Next Adventure will be…”

Well that’s all for now I have to get back to work on my new product I’m almost finished with. The above has worked for me I hope it’s of value to you also.

Martin Wrote:

“I read your free manual and found some useful tips that hopefully will carry fruit soon. I must tell you I found a page with examples of first contact suggestions which I used with only minimal adjustments. My replies almost doubled which is both interesting and disappointing. Are women really this simple, or is it only about standing out from the crowd long enough to get a foot in the door?”

Hi Martin,

Dating and women are very simple we tend to just get in our own way most of the time. As many successful men know making a woman laugh is one of the most powerful tools in the dating game for men. If you are confident and funny. You get the girl most of the time. This an over simplification but for the most part true.

As far as using the template emails you found online.

The reason those may have worked is they show creativity, a lack of desperation and humor, which is the opposite of what most men on most sites are doing. I personally feel they are a bit too cheesy and they  will not work on all sites, or on all women, especially on social networking sites.

However if the they are getting you more responses, good for you! And yes women and the attraction process are really that simple to a point as far as getting her attention. Unfortunately there are a ton of things you can do from that point that will kill the deal as many men have discovered.

The problem with using ANYONE ELSE’S EMAILS. Is while is may get your foot in the door, the door will most likely get slammed on your foot and in your face when you meet in person. This is when you find out that she is NOT as simple as you thought and her B.S. detector tells her something is off. That you don’t quite match up to your email.

Because…

1. Yes the email may have worked but what about the second email, and the third, who is going to write those for you?
2. It’s not congruent with who you are in person.
3. When you meet in person she is going to expect to see the same level of humor, and creativity, If you don’t show it, your toast!
4. It won’t be long before men all of the world are using those very same emails and they get busted instantly.

That’s just my take on using other people emails, which is why I teach men how to write their own emails that work. You also have to find a balance that matches your style, personality and profile. I personally could not use a cheesy email. I have a friend that could as he is a cheesy person…lol

There are 3 kinds of men out there:

1. Those that want the quick fix i.e. a pick up line, a email template, magic powers of hypnosis (which is anything but quick to learn), someone to do all of the work for them.
2. Those that are actually successful with women. The funny part is for many of the successful men it’s really a totally effortless process. It’s just part of who the are. These are the naturals.
3. Those men that have studied and improved themselves but have gotten past relying on the gimmicks, canned openers and pickup techniques and found out what they really needed and made it part of them or should I say discovered it was part if them all along and they became naturals.

All of what I teach is aimed at helping men becoming a natural both on and offline.

I hope this helps and as always you success is my goal.

Nico

I wrote an blog post on my myspace blog (See Below) and one of my student came up with some really great questions that I decided I would also share the answers 2 on here.

The Blog Post:
For every girl that has a broken heart...

For every girl that has a broken heart…over some lying, cheating, jerk that treated her like crap. There are 10 nice guys that are heart broken because they have never even been given a chance, because they are invisible, because they are too nice.

Women have the power to change the world and make it a better place but they don’t do it. If women would not have sex with men that are thugs, gangsters, crooks, unethical, and dishonest. Those men would either die out or change their ways.

But women don’t do that in fact many women get into relationships with men in prison or repeat offenders as soon as the get on death row. They run back to those that abuse them.

A convicted wife beater once said “Women are like dogs the more you beat them the more they love you!”

Yet most smart, nice, honest, guys can’t get laid to save their life. Unless they make it big and get rich or famous. Will it ever change?

His Question:

An interesting question, Nico, but here is another one; You, Nico, you seem to get a lot of attention from women… and I know that you are not ’some lying, cheating, jerk that treated her like crap’. You would not do that. So is it safe to assume that you are ‘rich or famous’?

Also I don’t believe in that ‘dogs/women love you more when you beat them theory’. I respectfully disagree with that ‘convicted wife beater’… I have come across some legal reports where battered wives set their husbands on fire while they were asleep as an act of revenge. I don’t think being violent is the best way to get unconditional love from your woman (or your dog). lol.

My answer:

Those are some very good questions…You lawyers always seem to come up with some good ones…lol

1. While I’m not Rich & Famous (but working on it…lol) I’m not poor and in some social circles I am fairly recognizable.

2. I also don’t condone the abuse or beating of women, dogs (or any other animal) or even other men unless in self-defense. And in extreme cases where the abuse is very bad or over a very long period of time they often turn on the person and attack back, both women and dogs. But the fact remains women do run back to abusive men over and over again.

So how is it that according to what I have said above that I attract women?

Those Abusive Men and Jerks also have some other good qualities that women are attracted to such as…

Taking charge, Confidence, standing their ground, putting her in her place when she gets out of line, and high inner status a sense of humor, very sexually aggressive, all of which are classic alpha male qualities. I assume most also have a soft side as well.

Well I also have those traits albeit I worked hard to develop many of them as I was raised without a father figure, most of my life. I just don’t have the abusive or violent side.

So a man like me is what most of those women are really looking for as far as qualities go (looks on the other hand are subjective, I may or may not be physically attractive depending on the woman image of what she deems attractive) As those women generally are not looking to be abused (some however are or have a subconscious pattern than makes them seek abuse over and over again.)

But when I was younger and stupid I used to punch holes in walls, throw cell phones at the ground and break shit (always my own stuff) until I realized that it was costing me too much money and grew up.

But some women like that stupid shit, well let’s not say they actually like it, but it does give them something to talk about with all of their girlfriends and keep you in their mind all day…lol It also keeps them wondering “What crazy stupid thing is he going to do next!” As opposed to the boring smart, even tempered nice guy who is predictable and did I mention boring.

Drama equals excitement for some people. Why did I do it because I felt I need to show someone how upset I was. Yes it was immature, and stupid but you know what I never had a girl leave me for it. It provides a emotional roller coaster that they most often are more than happy to ride.

Think about it women love to watch soaps (Drama), read romance novels (Drama), talk about their friends problems (Drama). Most of them are basically Drama junkies and nice guys are to boring.

So to some it up I have many of the Alpha Male traits. I’m not boring because of my lifestyle, have social proof and I have the soft side as well.

Does that mean all women will be attracted to me. No, the women that are truly attracted to hardcore abusive men that look like white trash, thugs will not be into me. And the gold diggers looking for a free ride also not find much here as I am not out to buy anyone.

Smart women generally love me because unlike most of the guys they are attracted to physically I can talk about things other than, bands, trucks, and extreme sports and actually like to hear what they have to say. The only problems is most really hot women are not that smart because everyone let’s them slide by on their looks so they have no reason to develop their mind.

The thing that still amazes me is women that are attracted to men that look, like white trash, act like what trash, talk like white trash, start fights or has a history of hitting women. And then they are surprised when they get hit or beaten Or maybe it’s the excitement and drama wondering “Is he going to hit me?”